Fanylion Mountain Bike Team
Official site of the Fanylion Mountain Bike Team. Includes mountain bike ride guides, gear reviews, bike maintenance, team reports and rider profiles of the Fanylion Racing Team.
Switchbacks, Sierra Nevada
February 17, 2005, Spain
Heavy snow, sub-zero temperatures and freak weather across most of Europe. It wasn’t looking good for Team Fanylion’s pre-season trip to Bubion, situated in the Spanish Sierra Nevada mountain range. The aim was to blow off the cobwebs of the winter and burn off the festive love handles we had all been developing while riding some of the most technical trails on earth. Things were made worse by two of the lions falling foul of injury within a week of each other leaving only a couple of weeks to get fit for some serious trail riding. In true Team Fanylion fashion however all eight riders made it to the various airports around London to fly out to Malaga and get their teeth into the Spanish hills. Team Shortbread was already having to remortgage most of his possessions as Sleazy Jet had managed to rob him of £60 just for having a few kg over the weight limit. A quick text to Team Whitesox and everything was coming out of the bags to try and get the weight down. Hamsters, Porn, shortbread and one or two layers of biking equipment was all getting discarded in the hope that any further charges would be escaped.
The team assembled in Malaga International airport to be greeted by our guide for the week Mike. Instantly the questions were fired at him as nervous little lions thoughts turned to the days ahead. How much snow was there? How low in the hills did it come? What was the accommodation like? Why is Steve allowed to be Team Captain when he’s got ginger pubes? When does the pub open? Mike reassured us that there were plenty of trails to keep us busy for the four days and we settled down for the few hours van journey up through the foot hills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains apart from Team Hodgson who was like a hyperactive Mongoose until giving a massive Fanylion salute to the lions in the back managing to break the front seat of the van in the process.
After the usual banter levels had started to increase we arrived in Bubion, a small village full of little Spanish hobbits around 1300m above sea level. In record Team Fanylion time all riders were suited and booted ready to tackle a ride that afternoon.
Half an hour of climbing and the team gathered around the top of the trail. Half a foot of snow cover the trail and, after a few paws tested it out, it was decided to be queer and walk the first 50 yards.
Ten minutes later and now with massive grins across our faces the team was in heaven; rocky, dry and dusty trails with tight switchbacks and a few icy corners to test the skills was all it needed to get the Team’s morale levels through the roof. Team Jesus was a little shaken by his Stable experience even though he was born in one himself and felt his XC machine was all of a sudden a bit out of its depth. There was still time for another crack at it and most of the team headed all the way back up the road climb while Jesus and Team Starky climbed to the mid point in the trail. Meanwhile down in the depths of Bubion word had spread of a bunch of Fanys up the hill and the normally laid back locals started cutting a hedge down at the bottom of the trail almost completely blocking it off. One after another the brave lions narrowly missed the thorny mass of branches and twigs until Team Starkey came around the corner with a look of pure fear as his M4 brakes screamed under the strain of rider and bike on a direct line for the freshly cut spikey ball of death. The local just looked at Sheldon as if he was barking mad as he pulled himself and bike from the mess and continued down to be reunited with his pack in the village. A few beers and crisps later back at the house and spirits were high, it was a little cold but the skys were blue and the trails were dry. Due to the hot water being heated by a single hamster holding a candle there was no surprise when certain members of the team suffered with cold showers!
Thoughts were quickly turning to food and the team headed out with kitty in hand to get some well earned beer and meat. It was here that we met up with the two other lads that were biking, Mark and Joe. The fear in them was evident to see as it was a big moment in both their lives to come face to face with the god like status that is Team Fanylion. Back at the house it was time to gather around the fire to try and warm up before heading to the frosty caves which were the bedrooms. Teams Reet Nooker and Shorts in Winter seemed keen to get into their little pit of stench and spend some quality time together!
The team awoke to a hard frost but clear skies which focused the minds on the ride ahead. The Team had been in the country less than 24 hours but the steak, meatballs, beer and altitude had all contributed to the toilets becoming unusable due to the amount of lion dung being produced! This pattern would continue for the rest of the week and there was always an advantage to getting to the traps first! Mike was becoming quite disturbed at the amount of filth the team was producing on a daily basis probably wondering if the Spanish sewer system could handle it or if he was going to be charged by the Spanish Environmental Agency. Fuelled up with cornflakes and toast the team headed up the road climb, Shortbread leading the climb with Shorts in Winter and Whitesox following closely. Mark and Joe were proving their fitness and were up at the front of the group for the climb. Team Starkey was straining to crack a smile after what could only be described as a slog of a climb but it was soon time to pad up and get ready for some hardcore single-track descending. Whitesox was having a bit of a queer moment as after hurting his arm the day before was not going to do the descent but the thought of the verbal and physical abuse that would follow later on that day was too much to bear and pain or no pain he was going for it.
And then they were off, the team in perfect mountain biking heaven, well, at least for 20 seconds anyway until Mike decided to become an integral part of the Spanish hillside after going clean over the bars into some of the roughest rock on earth! God, if the guides stacked it, what hope is there for any of us mere mortals?! Once wounds were fixed and dusted down the team carried on down the rocky technical narrow single-track before breaking into fast smooth flowing sections of trail finishing with a boulder filled fast decent down the side of the hill to the lunch stop at the river. It was hike time to get anywhere in the valley and the only way was up for a 20 minute plod up a series of switchback carrying the bikes. Little did the team know that the highlight of the day was still to come in the form of a set of switchbacks descending into a gully with one exposed corner on the top of a 150 foot cliff which looked to be off camber. The worst thing was that Mike had had a major mechanical problem with his rear mech and all the time he was fixing it gave the team more time to study this life taking corner! Team Starkey decided he was walking it which was a bit of luck as he could do a bit of route study for the rest of the team. Team Reet Nooker took up position with the camera to catch any disasters on film while the team pumped themselves up. Mike was first to go, skipping and hoping down the trail on his Cove Hustler making it look easy, leading the team down. Everyone’s eyes were transfixed on the edge concentrating in getting he front wheel round the switchback nice and smooth, heart in mouth, balls getting bigger the further down you got. This kind of exposure really sharpened up the minds concentration and even though it was below 10 degrees that day there was a fair bit of sweating. A long gentle descending traverse along the hillside brought us to the end of the trail for the day and a short climb brought us out to the waiting van.
Once squashed into the van with everyone a bit closer to each other than was comfortable it was a half hour back to the house and hot showers all round. Bellies were empty and the team headed out for pizza and beer before heading back to sit around the fire and enjoy Team Jesus letting the rest of the lions into a glimpse of his colourful past! The local food had taken its toll by this point and naked flames in any area of the house could have proved deadly!
Saturday saw the team doing the same climb followed by some hard technical single track and some hardcore corners taking us down to lunch to meet up with Joe and Mark.
The challenge of the day was a set of four switchbacks which were tighter then a Scotsman’s wallet at the bar! Team Ewok showed the rest of us how to do it at lighting speed while the rest of us wrestled with bikes and body to complete the tricky little section! A quick climb and it was time for beers and Tapas again; happy days! There was a slight sense of tension in the air as those who had been out to Spain before knew what was coming the next day!
“Eleven o’clock??! We can easily fit a quick climb and decent
before he gets here!!” were Team Hodgson’s words as we settled down to another Jesus fable. So it was decided, the team would do the Stable Descent then meet up with Mike at Eleven and crack on with the days ride. Unfortunately Jesus had split his rim, nice! His wheel was in a pretty bad way as well and while most of the team hung around to help him Hodgson, Whitesox and Shortbread headed up for a warm up circuit around the Stable Decent. If Whitesox had known the climb ahead of him later that day he well may have chosen to stay as well!
The team twisted through the steep icy streets and then onto a flowing
decent down to Pampaneira. A mile or so of tarmac led us to the foot of the to the biggest climb of the week. As usual Shortbread was at the front of the pack with only Starkey and Mike ahead as they had set off a good hour before. 12km of climbing split between road and forestry track faced the team. It was quite disturbing or amazing the speed that Joe was heading up the climb on his seven inch machine! The trail was endless and seemed to go on for ever towards the end but the thought of the 1000m decent the other side was keeping spirits high. A quick stop for lunch and 15 minutes of level riding it was time to tackle the mother of descents. “For 6 inches only” was the name and nature of the beast! Rock garden after rock garden, fingers going numb, brakes cooking and massive grins across all riders, well maybe not Starkey, the team screamed down the hillside finishing with cheers from the local hobbits probably hoping one of the team would take a tumble on the final turns!
Another climb and more pain in the legs! A short road section, then onto a track to get to the top of a crazy downhill that consisted of sandy single-track and dusty rutty trails.
Shortbread wanted to see just how good his body armour was and left his bike in the dirt to test it out with major tumble! The team gathered at the bottom of the trail awaiting the arrival of the mighty Team Starkey. Hanging on for dear life he appeared through the dust, man and machine in perfect harmony narrowly missing several members of the team! Everyone was pretty shattered and in need of food, shower, beer and Jesus story to recover after what could only be described as a great day riding.
The final day saw Ewok, Starkey and Jesus bail out and take the day off while the rest of the team followed Joe and Mark up the hill after getting a lift up the road from Mike. What was meant to be a “no climbing day” it was taking its toll on Hodgson and Whitesox! A tight loose single-track decent followed by a long cold icy forestry track downhill back onto flowing single-track was the reward for the hard work but Whitesox and Hodgson were fading fast and bailed out after admitting to being absolutely f*”ked!
The remaining team members headed up to tackle the Hysterectomiser trail and descended right down to Pampaneira before heading back, packing up and then jumping on the van for the trip back to the airport.
Bruised, tired and happy the team said their goodbyes and headed off on their respective flights back to the cold and snowy UK. All in all a great trip and although a little chilly it was near perfect biking conditions. The team will be returning to the sunny Spanish hills at some point in the future because it is just too good to miss!
RspKt
Riders present
Team Reet Nooker
Team Shortbread
Team Shorts in Winter
Team Starkey
Team Ewok
Team Hodgson
Team Jesus
Team White Sox
Enjoyment level
Off the scale, as expected.