Fanylion Mountain Bike Team
Official site of the Fanylion Mountain Bike Team. Includes mountain bike ride guides, gear reviews, bike maintenance, team reports and rider profiles of the Fanylion Racing Team.
Glentress/Innerleithen
March 12, 2005, 7 Stanes, Scotland
We hadn’t ridden at Glentress since July 2004 and were keen to ride the new Spooky Wood/A-Line section we had been hearing about of late. And for some mad reason we have never ridden at Innerleithen, so it was decide that this month we would ride Glentress on the Saturday, then with the minimum of driving and fuss, ride Innerleithen on Sunday. Booyakka.
Following the rebirth of our Mighty Website a crazy Jock named Sanny had contacted us and offered to show us some secret ‘locals only’ trails around Glentress and so a rendezvous was arranged, plus our old buddy Big John Henry was in on the action too.
Teams Techno and Starkey drove to Glentress on Friday morning and rode the Red Route before the rest of us but strangely had more tales to tell of the bars and pubs of Selkirk than the trails of Glentress, so we were still in the dark as to what to expect. As we arrived in the Glentress car park on Saturday morning, bang on time and with zero faff (Team Cliff Diver was noted for his absence and lack of FaffTM) we met up with Sanny (who matched his own description of being ‘The Mouthy Jock with the Bacon Sarnie’), some mates of Sanny’s and Big JH, and prepared to ride. Ra was making his way to GT having got to bed late the previous night having just returned from pilot training in Florida and would meet us at The Hub at lunchtime. And so 10 Lions and 5 Jocks set out from the Hub not knowing if it would get any colder or how high up we would encounter snow. Techno was certainly prepared for the cold, looking like a stormtrooper/paedophile/queer in his balaclava and scarf.
First stop was the Skills Area, somewhere the FanyLioners had never visited before, though all riders easily nipped and hopped around on the low North Shore type obstacles and wide low see-saw. A couple of laps and we sped off in convoy until the trail came across two wooden drops, and the carnage unfolded in true FanyLion style as Ewok went over the bars on the biggest jump, keen to get some blood flowing early. A nice deep gouge half an inch long in his knee cap had Reet Nooker administering first aid and gave Hodgson, Downhill Maniac and 10TonKona the chance to repeatedly style it up on the planks just to show Ewok how it should be done. Hardcore Freerider Shorts in Winter proved he was getting more and more Jey as he gets fitter and refused to go anywhere near the jumps.
With Ewok patched up we set off again, following Sanny along the Red route until the first descent, where Sanny stopped to drop his saddle and tighten his leg armour. No such queerness for the Lions and after Shorts and Reet Nooker had done their ‘pre-descent yoga routine’ we hit the first descent and ripped it up, chasing Downhill Maniac down a fast singletrack chute that got everyone fired up and feeling The Force. A fire road climb made even tougher from being covered in snow and ice and we came to an unmarked narrow path off to the right and Sanny led the way into the dark trees. The trail steepened and became very slippy and I have to confess to riding most of it with my uphill foot unclipped as we traversed the contours and occasionally dropped down steeply, my tyre tread filling up with the Scottish gloop, the small wooden bridges becoming treacherous as we rode over them. As we regrouped at the bottom a few riders had tales of crashes, including Downhill Maniac who had begun his days’ love affair with the trees, though despite my protestations at the mud and lack of traction Ali declared the trail ‘a good deal drier than usual’. Sanny said that I must have all the gear and no idea and I counted to 10 slowly and breathed through my ears for fear of ripping the lippy twat’s head off.
We then took in some short sections of the Black Route before once again heading Off-Piste and following Sanny onto one sketchy, steep, dark mother of a trail that dropped very steeply straight down the contours. Catching everyone unawares as to it’s sudden severity, everyone with saddles still fully extended and riding very close together, as soon as Iain at the front hit the deck the rest of the pack began a synchronised stacking session, sliding down the uber steep track, trying to find a suitable flat landing on which to remount our bikes, which by now had 3.5 inch tyres with zero grip. A steep drop onto the trail below caused mass amusement as Jesus dropped in then lost it at the bottom, but award for the most weirdness must go to Techno, who after studying it for a good 5 minutes finally gave it a go, nailed it then saw fit to inexplicably go over the bars and land on Jesus. Mental.
After another climb we regrouped at the top of a Red Run descent and by now all riders were in The Groove and blazing the trails. On a fast descent I was chasing Downhill Maniac with Shorts in Winter tight behind me in battle formation. As I rounded a tight corner I saw Downhill falling out of the air and onto his back with no sign of his bike anywhere. Expecting him to be dead I slowed to see him start laughing, so I sped on to the end of the section. Pottsy had hit yet another tree, this time with his handlebars, spinning off his bike and up in the air. He was certainly living up to his Team name today.
It was now 1pm and we had been riding for a couple of hours so rode back to The Hub for a sandwich, cuppa char and to meet up with Ra, which we duly did, then set out again to ride the Red Route in it’s entirety. Half a mile in and we were missing the Big Man: Sheldon had gone AWOL like a sulking child, and had given up for the day, so the rest of the Team cracked on, keen to eat up the miles.
Re-riding one of the earlier downhill sections gave us an opportunity to let rip on now semi-familiar trails and really get the power down. The big climb of the day followed and Monster Munch was trying to agree with me how much fitter Ben had become: “Ben’s (gasp)……….much (gasp)…..fitter
It was on one of these uphill sections that something very bizarre and a little homo-erotic occurred: the entire Team started singing ‘Loving You’ by Minnie Riperton, with everyone hitting those high notes superbly. It seems we now have a Team anthem. Very odd indeed.
After yet more climbing we arrived at the picnic tables and the best was before us: Spooky Wood, better named A Line as it felt/looked just like the famous A-Line trail at Whistler bike park. Uncharacteristically, Techno set off first, launching off the first drop blind and the rest of us followed. With Pottsy in the lead, Ali Liquid in second and me in third the race was on. Techno had stopped to take photos as we shot past, taking on high berms, smooth tabletop jumps, whoops and fast straights. I was reminded of my BMX days as we felt the G Forces in the bends and hit compressions and lifted off the numerous jumps. The only problem was the ice and snow that remained in sheltered parts of the trail and Downhill Maniac soon washed out his front wheel and went head first into a snowdrift, leaving Ali and I to carry on the race. Ali soon lost it on a snowy bend and I was left to finish the trail to the bottom, dying to ride it again and wishing the snow would melt, NOW!
Ewok and Pottsy were by now feeling the pains of their previous crashes and waited at the foot of Spooky Wood whilst Techno and I had another go. The rest of the riders were promised yet more steep, dark muddiness by Sanny, but the pull of the berms and jumps was too much for Techno and I so the Team split, agreeing to meet up again in 15mins at the foot of Spooky Wood. When Techno and I returned, Ewok and Downhill were getting chilly, so the four of us completed the Red Route, stopping to session the log huck near the end and try and teach Ewok how to get air, to no avail. Running out the end of the ride it was now the best part of the day as the falling sun shed dappled orange light through the trees, birds were singing and I was in heaven, pumped at the riding and feeling like I had earned a beer. We headed off to the Hotel and regrouped with the others later, to swap tales of crashes, hucks and Billy Connolly impressions. Big John departed and we arranged to meet Sanny and his buddies at Inners in the morning.
A good evening of fine ale and meat was had at the Glentress Hotel, the highlight of the evening being my declaration of Team Hodgson Jr’s forthcoming arrival in October. Not a night of huge alcohol intake; some riders were feeling a little sore and most were keen to get some rest before taking on the challenges of Caddon Bank tomorrow.
Sunday dawned very cold but even brighter and sunnier than ever and the pagan rituals and virgins we sacrificed the week before had paid off. After a superb breakfast we packed the cars and drove the 3 miles to Innerleithen to mix it up (in the car park at least) with the top Scottish downhillers who were attending a race today. Fortunately the XC Black Route was still open and after marvelling at the huge bikes and speed (and lack of speed) of some of the downhillers we started the climb to our destiny.
After a short climb and a sweeeeet smooth Alpine style trail along the contours and through the trees we arrived at a huge gravel opening and took time out to speed down the steep shale face and try to clear the small doubles, then continued ever upwards, first on fire road, then on excellent singletrack up to Minch Moor.
As riders regrouped at Minch Moor the views were simply breathtaking. A 360 degree panorama of the Scottish hills made all pain forgotten, and Bob stated he had never seen it so clear up there, the view usually obscured by cloud. The low temperature soon had us moving out and as my fingers started their by now familiar change from healthy red and pink to numb white and yellow we descended fast down rocky doubletrack and tight rutted muddy singletrack before cruising down one of the most seminal lengths of trail I have ever ridden. Super smooth singletrack between the trees with shallow turns and very fast in a corridor of evergreen was a dreamlike ride over too quickly as we fire-roaded it to a large opening in the hillside where technical rocky treats were awaiting us. Shaking the last few drops of blood back into my painful fingers we headed off into the singletrack and some skill testing rock gardens and switchbacks. With no trees for miles Downhill saw fit to stack it into a rock and snap his derailleur hanger off and in a completely UN-FanyLionOldhamTeamFaff manner pulled a spare out of his Camelbak and was riding again in a matter of minutes with the help of Sanny.
Yet more superb singletrack interspersed with the occasional rock drop and ledge had the Team whooping and hollering and as we regrouped at the fire road and were almost mown down by a couple of large trucks. Checking my watch I informed Monster Munch that according to the altimeter we were 964 feet below sea level, much to Monster’s amusement (it might need re-calibrating you know). By now we were all champing for the real deal, the Caddon Bank Descent.
We arrived at the top of the descent with some trepidation and it was no relief when some eagle-eyed rider spotted Innerleithen Cemetery visible below in the valley - very handy for any hapless Maniac.
We were all instructed by Sanny to go and walk the first section of the descent, to have a butcher’s at the drops and decide how many of the (progressively larger) rocks drops we would be prepared to throw ourselves off. The first was a fairly straightforward affair, maybe 2ft but with a pretty scary drop to the right; I knew it was well within my capabilities. The second was a bit bigger, maybe getting on for 3ft by the time you landed on the downslope, but the bermed sides made the drop feel much safer; easy. Then the Big One, Numero Trez, the Big Kahuna: maybe 5ft high above the landing point this was certainly an intimidating beast, but I knew it was Definitely Doable. Downhill Maniac and Reet Nooker were also going to have a stab at all three, and after much backslapping and Devil Fingers we lined up and set off into the unknown. With complete tunnel vision I was unaware of anything except the small patch of ground in front of me as I popped of the first and second drops without incident, lined up for the Big One and dropped off, landing smoothly on the downslope and buzzing at how easy it had been. Regrouping at the next bend, Pottsy and Reet Nooker were also down safely. Looking back up the trail in time to see Ra rolling the second drop, I was pleased to see him realise the Big One wasn’t one to try and roll.
As Sanny set himself up with my camera to take pics, Reet Nooker, Pottsy and I all pushed our bikes back up the trail for another go, and Reet and I nailed the drops again, looking good for the camera. Not Downhill Maniac though. Wanting to go bigger and badder, he hit the Big One much faster this time, and too far to the right. Landing on the berm, his wheels washed out and sent him and bike over the top of the berm and down the mountainside. Chris managed to let go of his bike early, but was then a soft, fragile body hurtling amongst boulders, rocks and immovable tree stumps. Watching helplessly from above we saw Chris take hit after hit, the biggest one from his final tree encounter of the weekend, off a huge tree stump which sent him spinning to the trail 25ft below. Oh shit. I was sure the biggest impact must have spelled broken ribs and this was looking to be Team FanyLion’s biggest crash ever.
As we all dropped our bikes and ran towards Chris he was happily up on his feet and running up and down the trail, holding his right shoulder and looking a bit disorientated. After sitting him down and taking stock of the situation Chris looked generally OK, but had a scratched and very white face and said his shoulder and knee had taken a good battering. Ra stayed with him to wheel his bike down as Chris walked the remaining few hundred yards back to the trailhead. The remaining swoopy, fast descent was taken a little more sedately as maybe it should have been, and when we return it will be nailed properly.
After letting the medic at the downhill race take a look at Pottsy it was agreed a trip to A&E was necessary for our intrepid Maniac, so Techno, Kona and Starkey took Chris to Galashiels whilst the rest of us bade farewell to Sanny, Bob and Iain and headed home.
Chris had damaged the ligaments in his shoulder, sprained his wrist and had a haematoma in his left thigh (an internal swelling that was pressing on nerves and very painful). He was patched up and told to go to the fracture clinic when he got back to Oldham for a final check for breakages. A sobering end to a truly stupendous weekend.
We had ridden yet more awesome trails, ridden uphill and downhill fast and hard, pushed the boundaries once again and made new friends, all in a beautiful setting and in fan(y)tastic weather. Vowing to return to GT & Inners for a midweek raid soon, the FanyLion riders headed back to their rspKtive corners of the country to rest their weary bodies, repair broken and battered bikes and dream of the next outing.
Big up to y’all,
Hodgson, out.
“Loving you is easy cos you're beautiful
Making love with you is all I wanna do
Loving you is more than just a dream come true
Everything that I do is out of loving you
Lalalalala...
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause loving you has made my life so beautiful
And everyday of my life is filled with loving you
And loving you I see your soul come shining through
Every time that we oooh I'm more in love with you
Lalalalala...
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause loving you has made my life so beautiful
And everyday of my life is filled with loving you
And loving you I see your soul come shining through
Every time that we oooh I'm more in love with you
Lalalalala...”
Riders present
Team Jesus
Team Reet Nooker
Team Hodgson
Team Downhill Maniac
Team Starkey
Team Techno
Team Shorts in Winter
Team Ewok
Team 10 Ton Kona
Team Ra
Team Monster Munch
Significant Others:
Sanny
John Henry
Ali & Angus the Dog
Bob
Iain
Enjoyment level
Haggistastic