Glentress and Mabie

October 26, 2002, Scotland

Robert the Bruce, William Wallace, The Proclaimers, Ali McCoist, Macbeth, Sean Connery, Stephen Hendry, Rab C. Nesbitt, Alexander Graham Bell, Jimmy Crankie, John Henry. All famous Scotsmen, yet Team FanyLion have only met one of them. Read on…

Our latest Team adventure, this time to Scotland, our first trip North of the border.

Team members met in Hawick, about 25 miles south of Glentress Forest Park, for breakfast and to issue team t-shirts. Sitting there tucking into big plates of heart attack food we looked truly awesome in our team issue blue and yellow.

Team Hodgson had been in contact with a Scottish trailbuilder prior to the weekend: John Henry would meet us on Sunday to show us round Mabie Forest. On Saturday we would be riding in Glentress Forest as it was well way marked and we would not need a guide. However a guy had arranged to meet us to film us, as he had heard that an MTB Team were riding. Nick of Dustbow Industries rang me at 10 on Saturday to say he was waiting at Glentress for us. He asked what sort of vehicle we were in. “Are you in a Team Van?” he asked. Oh dear. If only he knew. He was in for a shock.

Our bellies full of lard, Hodgson the Dominant Male lead the team to Glentress. We arrived at Glentress and met up with the team member formerly known as Team 10-Ton Kona and Team Smokey and also Team Downhill Maniac and Team Cliff Diver who eventually arrived.

We then met Nick, and as we assembled in front of him it was blatantly obvious we weren’t the Pro MTB Team he had expected. A rag tag collection of losers, drop outs, weirdoes, alcoholics, child molesters and gimps confronted him: Team FanyLion, in all its might. He had never seen anything like it in all his life.

Donning his helmet with two cameras mounted, Nick must have wondered what he had let himself for, as Dean’s Camelbak leaked and pissed juice all down his back, and Danny pulled his shorts on over his Ron Hills in his best Superman stylee.

The Glentress black route was very similar to Coed-Y-Brenin, in as much it was virtually all man-made, and as such not susceptible to the recent bad weather. The trails were hard packed and fast rolling and many sections had fast berms and BMX style jumps and tabletops, which were great fun but not mountainbiking for the purist.

A long, hard semi-technical climb up The Kipps followed, with numerous switchbacks which sorted out the men from the boys. At the top we sat in the wooden shelter to hide from the cold wind, and broke out the energy bars and chocolate. But not Sheldon. Oh no. No common-or-garden chocolate for him. No Snickers or Mars bar, no energy bar, but a cappuccino Nutri-Grain bar. Sheldon then produced a lace napkin and a pot of fresh Darjeeling tea to wash it down, and we were off again, heading for a fast, twisty technical section with high berms, whoops and tabletops, BMX stylee.

The long slow drag up to Dunslair Heights saw Team Pitchfork suffering with knee pain. Having been with the leading riders until now this would be a turning point for Jamie as his painful knees and lack of energy due to an illness the previous week caught up with him.

We stopped for a few minutes at the radio mast but the cold wind and driving rain pushed us on our way, heading for Boundary Trail, another section of BMX track with berms and drop offs.

As we descended into Red Cleuch Valley we were sheltered from the wind and all felt much better, then dropping down the valley and over several slippy wooden bridges and on some great twisty singletrack.
Katie’s Well Climb was a long hard slog, seeming to go on forever, however the steepest and most technical descents followed: The Moguls and Jake the Snake. Both demanded careful brake control as tyres tried to slip out on the wet ground. Fortunately there were no casualties, and we entered the North Shore section.

Team FanyLion had no previous experience of North Shore riding and we were all pretty stunned at the steepness and height of the log sections. I managed to ride the first three but bottled the rest as the drops were getting bigger and bigger and my courage smaller and smaller. I reckon with a bit of practice and a lot of nerve we could become more proficient on this stuff, but it is pretty intimidating and scary, I have to admit.

The quick dash back along Falla Brae was a good end to the ride. We were pretty tired, very muddy, very wet and cold. The ride had been good and had taken us 3.5hrs riding time and we had been on the trail for 5 hours.

We washed the bikes, got into some dry clothes and had some top nosh at The Hub, served up by Tracy Brunger, former World Champ cross country rider. Nice. Then it was time to drive to Dumfries for beer and food.

The B&B was extremely impressive if I do say so myself, and we got a quick shower and headed into Dumfries.
Now, I am aware that our Scottish friends John Henry, Rik and others will be reading this report, therefore I need to be tactful here, but if I were to say that Dumfries should have a sign saying “Dumfries: Twinned with Royston Vasey” you will catch my drift and I will say no more. You must go and experience it for yourself.

We had a couple of pints in The Robert the Bruce whilst Nick attempted to locate John Henry who we had arranged to meet there, but without luck. We then headed to The Rose of India curry house for a curry and beers then headed onto the legendary Hole I’ the Wa’ pub for last orders, then back to the B&B for sleep.

We awoke to a grey overcast morning after a night of heavy rain. The trails were going to be wet, and the roads were flooded as we drove to Mabie Forest, about 5 miles South of Dumfries.

We finally met up with the legendary John Henry (who said he had indeed been in the Robert the Bruce but had missed us), and we saddled up and set off, John and Nick setting a cracking pace that strung the Team out very quickly.

Mabie Forest was completely different to Glentress as the trails were more natural and not as man made. I personally preferred this, as we found ourselves riding up rocky tracks running with so much water it was like riding up a mountain stream.

Downhill sections that were normally grassy, rooty drops were transformed into glutinous, muddy slides which tested tyre grip and underpant stain resisting abilities to the limit. My personal favourite section was the Burn Splash, which involved riding through a swollen stream, the water almost hub deep. This was followed by a short sharp killer climb called The Scorpion as it has a sting in it’s tail.

We wound and snaked our way around the 9 mile route covering some brilliant little sections, linked together with fire road tracks, very similar to Coed-Y-Brenin. John explained that several more loops are due to be added on to Rik’s Red Route (named after the friendly woolly Rik of the bike shop nearby) which will extend the loop to almost 17 miles.

By the time we finished the ride (the biggest spill of which was by Mastiles, who had a sudden urge to become a Swedish Mud Wrestler and took a headlong dive into the gloop) we were all soaked to the skin, freezing and tired. John and Nick ere heading on to Dalbeattie but we were wet and cold and had a long drive back home so we declined the offer, but promised to come back soon. I for one can’t wait to ride Mabie again.

Rik then explained that Dalbeattie is probably the best MTB venue in the UK, with huge rock slabs and drops and that we were missing out. Team FanyLion will return, probably in the New Year.

No further rides planned for 2002, though Team visit to Tamworth Snowdome for snowboarding currently being organised, plus an extreme drinking weekend (without bikes) is being planned for the winter. Och Aye the Noo Ye Sassanach! This could be a turning point for Team FanyLion as we no longer hold Coed-Y-Brenin as our spiritual home: perhaps it is awaiting us at Dalbeattie?

We had a fantastic weekend, made some great new friends in Nick, John and Rik, and vow to return soon. Watch this space.

Team Hodgson, Dominant Male, Out.

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Official site of the Fanylion Mountain Bike Team. Includes mountain bike ride guides, gear reviews, bike maintenance, team reports and rider profiles of the Fanylion Racing Team.

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Glentress and Mabie

October 26, 2002, Scotland

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